Side note: I posted this on the ex-pentecostal sub and people suggested giving myself 6-12 months before leaving to build an solid income which is an great start and I want to start working on it ASAP. But I wanted to post on here too since this community is somewhat larger. Also, any PM’s of encouragement and stories of how you left are helpful too. Thanks.

First I’ll give an quick backstory, I could probably do another post on my upbringing. I’m an pk and I’ve been raised in Pentecost since I was an baby. It runs deep in my family all the way back to my great grandmother. Growing up I never got live the life other kids lived like not being able to have sleep overs or watching TV. And with the purity aspect, it wasn’t the rules but it was the double standards made me upset because I wasn’t allowed to hold hands with an girl or hug an girl, yet bigger name pk’s slept around with other girls but they got off scot free.

I’ve been super involved in it and I’ve done alms it anything you can think of. But in December of last year, I heard an famous comedian tell his story about he left Judaism during his training to be an Rabbi. At one point in his act, for an lack of better words, he mentioned that he lost his belief in God because he didn’t get why he would believe in God when he was more afraid of getting trouble of man. And it struck an chord in me and it made me start to question what I was taught since I was young. Since joining both ex pentecostal and ex christian communities, I’m leaning towards leaving soon.

However, I’m broke living with my parents, I graduate college in an month so my time is spent on that, and I can’t really leave because I’m not financially independent. Any advice on steps to leaving and then deconstructing? It’s hard to leave because I’ve been it my whole life and I’ve never known anything else.

On top of this, I feel really depressed and I just hate life. I graduate with my Bachelor’s degree in an month and I don’t even feel happy anymore. I never asked for any this and idk what I’m going to do after graduation. I feel lost in life and I have more questions than answers. For context, I live in Southern California and it’s super expensive to live out here so I need an solid income if I’m going to survive on my own. 😕