Hello, brothers and sisters shouldering the load. I thought I'd try to be more active in r/domspace, since it has so much potential.

I'd like to start with a general Dom theory question that I think all Dominants find some way to ask early in their D/s relationships: How does one best balance genuine vulnerability with the presentation of strength, and the actual resilience required for effective dominance and leadership.

Some days are harder than others. We get sick. We miss past loves. We wish we were more successful. We have an insecurity triggered. We wonder if we stack up to our sub's prior Doms. We're still coming to grips with a way our partner hurt us in the past. We're human- there are lots of ways we can feel pain and doubt on a daily basis that we fear to let into our D/s.

In my experience, owning up to one's own vulnerabilities is a courageous act, and in most company inspires and elicits respect from those who witness it. This shouldn't be much different in a D/s dynamic, but it seems to require much more courage and faith. Our subs look to us for stability, strength, and leadership, and we've largely been taught that vulnerability is incompatible with those traits. I don't think it is, at all- but I fear that the what vulnerability looks like to my sub can be mistaken for weakness. It takes practice and nerve to be resiliently vulnerable in a position of Dominance.

So, I'm just beginning to explore the relationship between the two, hoping to drill down to a more fundamental feeling for what authentic Dominance is, which is certainly a place where a Dominant's expression of vulnerability is a manifestation of their strength. In what ways do you fear to show your vulnerabilities to your subs? How do you keep expressions of vulnerability from sliding into indecision? What is the nature of your Dominance such that can remain dominant while expressing vulnerability?