All my life I’ve had so many disabilities then I solved them all except abusing my Adderall now I’m on Abilify ARISTADA injections & I shouldn’t have to be & it finally hit me that I have no life & I’m not sure I can do anything about it I was always going through something now that I’m not I realize all there is it TV 📺 & because I have untreated ADHD I just don’t do anything else hence I wish I wasn’t disabled everybody else has a life a career & I don’t get to have one I’m trying to work with Mass Rehab to work on that but I used to appreciate being disabled I thought it made me unique & neurodiverse now I know it just makes me bad at life other than hanging out with my Mother I don’t do anything I didn’t know I didn’t have a life I was too busy suffering to notice that if I’m not suffering I don’t know what to do with myself I’m not trying to complain but I am I can’t function not being treated for ADHD & I think the Abilify will make it not work my Adderall & I don’t wanna die but I don’t want to live I’m groggy on the Abilify & Apathetic I just wish I didn’t have to be disabled. I never used to wish that now I do. And I wish I saved my friend from Hanging herself but I didn’t & that’s stupid. I think it helps to talk about it that I wish I wasn’t disabled.