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A man stays at home with his children. He has a bad leg, so when the draft came through, it was his wife who became the soldier. He worries about her daily. The war has been going on for three years now. It makes him fear for his brother, who is on the other side from his wife.
He thinks about them both during the day, but only his wife at night. Most nights he’s alone, but he would be a liar on top of a cheater if he didn’t admit that all the lonely wives didn’t find their way into his bed. He does his best to remain faithful. He tells her the truth in letters he never sends.
On nights when there are other women in his bed, he pushes in deep, smothers their lips with his. He takes them from behind and presses their faces into the pillows if they let him. That way he doesn’t hear their voices quite as much, at least not while they’re having sex. He can pretend then that it’s only about physical need. That he’s never broken down in tears over the mind-numbing fear. That every letter from the front lines is both a relief and a renewal.
He’s afraid of her dying. He’s afraid of her coming home.
When the fighting make his house tremble, he’s simply afraid.
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- 8 years ago
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