At the moment I dont really care whether I live or die, I feel like I mostly keep going out of not finding reason or resolve to kill myself, yet I dont have much reason to still be alive either, so I'm sort of in an awkward positiin I guess. I just feel rrally empty regardlrss of what I do and I dont know where any of it is coming from, or if I do, I can't necessarily fix it. I've just been living my life om autopilot for a while now amd I dont know ehen anything wil change. I at bare minimum try to be of use to those around me, because I dont get much out of life myself. I dont have any answers, not for lack of trying I honestly concluded that we're all just figuring out shit as we go. Some in more privleged postions than others I suppose but it is what it is.