I'm 38, I spent my entire adult life up til now taking care of sick family members. I've watched and took care of all my family members as they passed away one by one. I lost both my parents, both my grandparents, two aunts and both of my siblings. It's going on 3 months since my mother's passing from cancer, and I don't know what to do. With all the doctors appointments and such over the years, I've never really gotten a chance to truly LIVE, I've always existed as a caregiver. I've had chances to date over the years, but it's always fell apart for various reasons. My extended family rarely talks to me, I have lots of friends, but terrible luck with dating. I was sick the other week, and came to the realization that I was all alone. I ca t get the negative thoughts out of my head. My family life is over. I'm all alone. Living without someone is an empty existence. My hobbies no longer take my mind off of things. I tried a vacation, but nothing changed, I always came back to the same situation, and I don't know if my heart can take it. I feel like life isn't worth living sometjmes, with nobody to share it with, so why bother? Why go through all the effort if there's nothing to look forward to?