It has come to the point where any time someone ask me if I’m enjoying something or what are some good things I did I cannot think of anything. I keep hearing over and over again about how I need to be kinder to myself but honestly I can’t, I feel this critical voice pushing me and meanwhile I have others who I work under who are also critical and I feel like absolute shit. All I hear everyday is how terrible I am- either it being from work or from family. And I’ve endured for so long but I’ve lost so many friends, and I can’t help but think it’s my fault- I feel so alone in the fact that I can’t tell anyone this because if I did they would just stare at me as if I was crazy, and then people leave everytime I open up or rather not talk to me about it-

I feel unheard and unimportant and I feel like shit and everyday this depression weighs on me and I can’t function and all I want to do is hide as the pain keeps going on and on and on. I can’t do it. I can’t do it. I can’t do it. I feel like I’m drowning everyday. All I want to do is escape through something and I wish I could stay asleep for so so long so I can get away from all the bad things and wake up without worry.