Does anyone remember when they used to be a kid? I still remember being able to be happy and smile and enjoy all the small things in life.

But now, I read, I watch tv, I do things that I “enjoy” but at the same time… everything just feels numb. I feel like I don’t matter, I feel like no one appreciates me, I’m alone and I feel like my inner child is gone and I really miss it. I hate how my life is consumed by my job and I hate how I’m treated everyday- I feel swallowed in this emptiness. I’m taking Zoloft but just… it can only do so much when life sucks so much. And I am struggling seeing my therapist too due to scheduling.

Like this is what I have to look forward to for the rest of my life? Where no one cares? No one cares except what they want or their paycheck and I get all these fake smiles and attention, I don’t matter. I wish I could be happy again but I can’t and I hate it. Nothing brings me happiness anymore but a numbness.