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I find that many OLD profiles are written very similar to one another. That is, they use a lot of the same words. When I (64m) see OLD profiles with certain words like looking for a gentleman, that is accomplished, financially stable, trustworthy, ambitious, and generous, I often wonder if they’ve been in relationships that lacked one or all of these characteristics.
If you look at the main reasons couples split; lack of family support, infidelity, too much conflict, financial stress, parenting differences, and lack of commitment, how does seeking a man that is accomplished help if he’s not good at fidelity or resolving conflict. How does being generous help if he has a vastly different parenting style and is terrible with honouring commitments?
Does asking that a man be a gentleman lead to finding one?
Do men seek a lady that is accomplished, financially stable, trustworthy, ambitious, and generous? Do you like being referred to as a lady?
When I see words like gentleman and ambitious, I automatically swipe left. There are many profiles out there. I have to draw the line somewhere. Each word would be worthy of its own sub imo. What words make you automatically swipe left or right?
Haha, you want to talk about instant swipe left ....
My roommate once had a couple reach out to her...well technically the wife sent the message (not poly but lifestyle FWB-type site). It was two separate profiles, one for him and one for her.
They had both indicated an interest and in this app like many, you can't mesg if there isn't a mutual "match", so he didn't have the ability but she did.
Before she replied to the wife, she wanted to check out the spouse's profile for obvious reasons.
No word of a lie, the very first line of his profile declared:
HSV 1&2
"If your profile says clean/tested regularly/D&D free/no bare, FUCK OFF you judgemental piece of shit..." It then completely derailed into an attack on anyone who dared to require that of any play partner and talked about how likely disease-ridden they were...
Here's the kicker, they had been married and ENM for many many years (over 10) and her profile didn't mention a single word about the issue. Given his sentiment about bare sex, one can only assume?
Is there a possibility that she had not contracted the STD? Sure...is it likely? Not very
(For those who aren't aware, studies show 1 in 2 Americans 14-49 are HSV1 positive, which is generally cold sores, that present on lips/eyes and rarely can be transmitted to genitals. 1 in 8 Americans are HSV2 positive, which is genital herpes. Yes, it's an STD, not an STI, i.e. can not be cured. Sadly, people are infected by partners who do not declare their status, or don't know, which is shitty).
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