Disclaimer: I don't date women and expect guys also see trends in females in this bracket.

My prospects either

1. Look way way older than me. I suspect some use a 40 prefix when it should be 50

2. Paddle boarding...WTAF. Every bloody man in a 30 mile radius of me, which includes Liverpool, Manchester, Chester has this as a hobby and is seeking similiar. I work with people my age. Not a single one paddleboards out of 200

3. Drama Free...Work Hard Play Hard. Seriously? At 50... grow the fuck up or take LTR offa your filter

4. Ignoring what's on my profile and being a chance bastard. Listen: You could be a 5 foot version of Tom Hardy....but I could rest a pint on your head. I don't care if you can get the train I want someone who drives so we can share this if we get on and go away for the weekend. I'm sorry you have to care for your Mum and live there but I'm too old for a pillow over my face to keep me quiet while we boink. Stop wasting both of our time!

5. Once these are all weeded out I'm left with immediate sex chat, effort in messages = 👋 or if I'm well lucky 👋🌹, every woman's fave Hey. How's you..... Good thanks. Dead-end convos. The rare times it goes beyond this if I have the audacity to suggest meeting....IRL..... Busy until 2027, neighbours 2nd Aunty's dog is ill so can we do next week? Or we meet and oh I'm so great blah blah blah, they arrange a 2nd date and change their mind the next day. Recent feedback includes I'm not cut out to date an alpha male as I can't meet their Ego's needs of listening to them moan about work and not sharing my days woes, or praising them for their amazing achievements at work as I would expect them to reciprocate being in a similiar role. His words lol. Er I'm not changing thanks!

And yet I live in hope, embracing my now legendary eye rolling skills and readying the swipe finger whilst hovering over the block button.

Rant over...stay safe out there fellow OLD gang