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If your best advice is always "go to the gym," please stop.
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I promise you we get it. Going to the gym helps people get in better shape, be more confident, whatever.

But please. PLEASE. Stop using it as a one size fits all solution to anyone's, particularly men's woes.

You can go to the gym all you want if you're feeling sad, lonely, confused, whatever. You may get in better shape, sure, but you can still be sad, lonely, confused, etc. You'll be just in better shape with those same issues.

I am not discouraging anyone from working out. I never will. I will always support self-improvement. However, if you go to the gym thinking that lifting weights will magically erase your problems and you push that same thinking onto other people whenever they express their troubles, you're not helping. You're just reinforcing this weird logic that running away from your problems and redirecting your energy is equal to working through them in an actually effective way.

Yes, it's great to get into better shape and to dive headfirst into your interests and things you care about, but self-improvement and sad thoughts are not mutually exclusive. Life is not a constant tug of war between self-improvement and feeling sad and lonely. You can be on the path to self-improvement and still feel sad and lonely and hopeless the moment you leave that gym.

If you're struggling with dating and it's taking a serious mental toll on you, talk to whomever you can confide in and try to get to the bottom of things. Take time to sit in thought and figure out the root of your troubles. Lifting weights alone will not rescue you from your deeper problems. I heard a quote once, and I forgot who said it, but it goes like this: "The only thing that running away from your problems does is make you even more tired when it's finally time to face them."

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1 year ago