So to give context, in the last two years I have run into the exact same dating pattern three different times. It goes like this: I start talking to a woman. They make their interest very clear. I’m the best thing since sliced bread. We talk and see each other a lot. It gets intense emotionally and sometimes physically. We see each other regularly. She starts pulling back. I start trying to re-ignite the flame (I’ve figured out that I have an anxious attachment style and in at least two of the cases, I overwhelmed them a bit). They say they just want to be friends after 2-3 months of ‘talking’ because they aren’t in a place to date/want to have fun/etc (soft bullshit rejections in at least two cases). I take space. They re-emerge within weeks to a couple months with someone that looks vaguely like me but is great in an area I’m insecure about. They start slowly fading me out.

I’ve made some discoveries about myself and this ‘type’ I seem to love (avoidant attachment). But I can’t stop feeling like it’s in some way a bit toxic, very dishonest and some kind of continual prank is being played on me. Does anyone have any insight into what is happening here exactly?