Hey y’all. I’m just feeling frustrated and down. I struggle with PTSD and Anxiety and take medication, see a psychiatrist, see therapists, and am in multiple 12 step programs for recovery.

I think my wife is just exhausted with how hard my mental health journey has been, which is fair. I get it.

It’s gotten to a point, though, where I’ll have a slip, whether it’s getting angry or forgetting to do something I said I’d do, and she will say “I’m furious with you, I’m just going to bed”. I used to fight it, but now I accept it more. I don’t get to choose what’s annoying or frustrating. One thing she hates is if we’re putting the toddler (2.5yo) to bed and I fall asleep next to him while we all cuddle on the floor. We always lay with him and sometimes I nod off being in the dark under a blanket. I get it, annoying, but hardly like fuming, I hate you, annoying? Right? It just feels like her nerves are frayed so the mild annoyances of working with another person are just amplified. It just is so frustrating when I do such a good job overall to have little things that wedge between us.

I don’t know how to give her a better life. I take care of our son in the mornings from 6:30-10 as solo parent every day. She goes to the gym and does her own breakfast. I work from 10-6. Then I am primary parent for dinner and bedtime from 6-8. Then I clean the house, do the dishes, laundry, and we will hang out. She doesn’t work, and does a great job taking care of our son and doing lots of awesome outings and activities. She’s a great mom.

She also is just very impatient with my mental health. I can have days of very high anxiety and she will often just get angry with me, tell me off, or avoid spending time with me. I worry that my perception is warped since I know I’ve had a fucked up childhood and my brain takes a lot of work. But I also feel that she is not working to treat me well in the same ways that I work regularly to be a good dad and partner. She does really thoughtful things for me, but her patience is not a strong suit. I would also just want more kindness, and it worries me that my son is seeing how she treats me (and how I let her treat me) and learning how it’s okay to be yelled at or belittled.

While I say she’s impatient, we’ve also been together for 17 years, and many of these years, I was not getting the right help. So maybe it’s also a case of burnout. I just want to be fair on details.

Can anyone relate or have any wisdom/experience to share? I sure could use some. Thanks ❤️

And we very much love each other, I think she’s awesome and she also thinks I’m awesome - maybe just hates my inconsistency and mental health struggles.