Whenever I go grocery shopping at the local produce store I cannot help noticing how phallic some of the vegetables are. The gigantic, loose carrots particularly grab my attention. I’m such a twisted pervy slut that I just can’t help where my mind goes. I’ve never bought them bc I usually just buy a whole prepackaged bag of carrots bc who needs such giant carrots?! I’ve never even held one of those in my hand out of fear that someone there will be able to read my mind and know that I’m thinking how good it would feel to fuck myself with one. Last week I caved to my urges. I bought one—just one—giant carrot. I was so self-conscious at the checkout, thinking the clerk knows exactly what I’m going to do with that carrot. However, I guess it just blended with all my other groceries bc if he did notice, he made no indication. I was probably just being paranoid. I went home and unpacked my groceries. I washed and peeled the carrot and disappeared into my room with it. I must say, I don’t know why anyone would waste a lot of money on an expensive dildo. That carrot was perfect and amazing. Long. Thick. Solid. Sturdy. The only thing missing was a set of balls slapping against my ass. I took it to the bathroom, rinsed it off, and stashed it under my mattress to use again later. After a night out with friends enjoying some live music and drinks, I couldn’t wait to get home to my carrot! 🤣 Again, I fucked myself silly and had an orgasm that made me sleep like a baby. Now I can’t stop thinking of alllll the possibilities! 🥕🍆🍌🥒🌽