Two stories here. I am a 31M for context.

1.) So I was thinking about an ex of mine (32F) that got married and moved in with her husband, which sucks hard as this was one I wanted to marry myself. She got with this guy (34M) the day after we split, two weeks later he announced he's getting her an engagement ring, and then three weeks after that the engagement is official. I kept telling her it would not last, and she was adamant that it would as everyone including in laws get along. I could not be happy for her. I just couldn't. And for a while I was angry until I got in a fender bender and had a gun pulled on me. First person I call? My ex. I knew she was close by, so I called her for support and she came right over and stayed until the cops told her to leave. I couldn't be mad after that. I still believe she made a stupid decision getting married so fast, but they've been married over a year, almost two, so I'm leaving it to God to see what happens. She's having lung issues right now, so all that matters is her pulling through and living.

2.) Crushing a lot on Rachel Zegler lately. I discovered her singing and realized she is so cute! I normally go for older women or women closer to my age, but she is an exception because of these two reasons. Of course she is in a long term relationship with Josh Andrés Rivera, and has been for around 3 years. I grew jealous of this as I heard about how sappy and cute they got with each other and just wanted their world to be torn apart because I had no one and they had all the luck and wanted Rachel for myself. That was until I saw a picture of the two at the Hunger Games prequel premiere, and there was Rachel looking up at her man lovingly. I felt so disgusted I wanted them to split, until I looked and saw all the comments supporting them and thinking they were a cute couple. I felt like a real asshole and just left a supporting comment saying how happy I was for them. I still like Rachel and hope to meet her and possibly work with her in a film one day. But I can't believe I stooped to this level twice in a row. Now I know this is Hollywood and relationships are unpredictable, but right now they seem very happy together and I can't help but wish them the best.

Here's to me finding the woman who looks at me the way Rachel looks at Josh one day!