Edit: for context im an engineering major at a BIG 10 University

Ah, you are about to enter college and have high hopes and dreams for what you are going to do in college. People tell you it will be the best 4 years of your life and you will make so many memories. Enjoy this time because you will never get it back in your life. Also, this is the phase in life where you should be experimenting and trying things because, after all, you have so much more freedom than you ever might have in your life (yeah right).

You enter college and maybe a year goes by, and well, you just feel extremely letdown and intense FOMO.

This pretty much sums up my freshman year. I had envisioned myself joining technical clubs, and social clubs, going to parties, and making lots of friends and memories. I had created this very high "image" of what I expected from my college life. This image and expectation had just led to disappointment as I wasn't able to achieve them.

Making friends was replaced by low confidence, low self-esteem, and image issues. Joining clubs was replaced with anxiety about grades and schoolwork. Going to parties was replaced by being a horrible networker who couldn't meet people. Going to college events was replaced with fear of chaos. I think you get the point here.

What contributes to this anxiety is when people emphasize how important it is to make friends, maybe get in relationships, network in clubs, and go to social events and how we will miss out on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. For me, this created intense FOMO. I'd wake up and beat myself up for having less life experiences than others and this lack of experiences affected my confidence because I thought I was just boring. Whenever I see others having fun, I fear that I am missing out and I will never get this chance again.

I thought I was alone until talking with other peers and reading so many Reddit posts about how people are worried about missing out. I think this whole idea of "college life" is just a narrative shoved down our throats but the reality is that like no one achieves this.

Throughout this first year, I learned just how bad I am at meeting people and forming friendships and just experiencing life in general. The whole "have fun in college" just feels like a scam. I've decided I'm gonna completely tilt in the other direction next year. I'm gonna focus on building my ego and my skills. Basically set me up to be a successful person after graduating college. If I can't have experiences and friendships, I'd at least want to grind life, do good in college, and become successful.

I wouldn't say this often, but I would encourage some of you who feel stuck in a similar way to do something similar. Go grind at the gym and get a body. get a high GPA. start a club/business project because frankly, my ego and drive is the only thing I have faith in at this point.