Fuck it. Here goes nothing. I turned 18 this year. It's been a troubled way here and I've been fucked up in all sorts of ways. Maybe I am being naive or too overly ambitious, but I believe that power dynamics have the ability to heal. Particularly CGL and having someone to care for me and look after me where I fail to do so. I think there's a beauty in giving myself up as a sub. A freedom in liberating myself from control over my own life. Devoting myself to something. Someone.
Finding purpose through serving. Finding a direction in my life even if it is to be a slave. Relinquishing myself to another. No longer having to deal with the anxiety of the future. Someone who will accept all my eccentricities and the baggage I carry. Bonding through the pain until I'm wholly dedicated to another.
I don't know what I'm looking for. The more I think about it the more unsure I become. All I know is I want a dominant figure in my life. Need even. I don't have many hobbies nor talents. I don't know what I aspire to be. I've spent a long time wallowing in my emotions. Join me in my melancholy?
In terms of kinks I could compile a salad of key words here but it'd be a long read. I'm into most things. I don't really have a type in terms of who I'm into. The only thing I require is dominant. The more you pour your fucking heart out the better. My misery needs some company.
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- 3 months ago
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