Hi I would like to ask a question here. I really really want a caregiver/ daddy.  But whenever I post i guess it's automatically assumed since I'm female I am naturally submissive feminine or able to be converted into such.

So I tend to write harsher posts to filter for this but it still doesn't work.

I was a victim of abuse my entire childhood,  experienced domestic violence and was sexual assaulted by partners I trusted as an adult.

Therefore I suffer from severe ctpsd and I'm hyper sensitive and vigilant about this.

I just don't want to be subjected to anything that would be considered abuse in the vanilla sense even if it's consensual.  And I don't know how to write this and receive the desired results without being treated as a challenge or messages that severely trigger me and prevent me from finding love and participating.

I really would prefer to be vanilla and have someone treat me good. I am rough around the edges due to my trauma.

I Don't want rules,  punishments,  to be controlled at all.  I want a loving daddy that would naturally abide by my expectations of treatment. I want someone who would love a 247 dynamic cook dress me bathe me dote on me like a princess. I am disabled so that factors in as well. I'm demisexual have a high vanilla regular sex drive in the bedroom. I just want unconditional love respect and genuine care monogamy and commitment. Nothing where the woman is submissive or servicing her male partner. No hookups casual no free use or bdsm scenarios.
I do have more dominant controlling in a nonsexual personality since that became a mechanism to protect myself at a very young age. Like I need to be in control of what happens to me.   Every time I trust and open up to someone and show my little side , they basically run from the responsibility of a lifestyle situation or want to find someone else that's submissive full well knowing I'm not, ripping my heart out and making me more defensive in the process.

I would love for someone to treat me kind act properly without me having to dom them into being a nice person and loyal. 

Also I do only post on caregiver/ little , not ddlg because I don't want a dom. Is everything about spanking choking tying and control? Are there no daddy that just want to create a safe loving environment for a little/ regressor that had a horrible life and try to create a happy safe environment ? Or should I just give up?

I'm getting older and I never find my person or experience happiness yet. My health is bad and i just want to find my soulmate before its too late

Any advice will be greatly appreciated thank you 😊