If you post pics of your peen or comment on creepy subs with barely legal girls, GO AWAY!

PLEASEEE be over your ex before messaging me.

PLEASE be 28 or older. Do not send pointless messages saying "Good luck" or "I wish I were single". Do not message me if you're taken

Facts about moi:

* I work with smol humans for a living.

* You don't have to WANT kids of your own (I do not). But, if you don't like kids...you're not for me.

* One of my favorite past-time activities is trying to put together legos high. 

* Listening to music high is also an experience (I do Delta since that’s what’s legal. If you’re anti-weed, then we aren’t a match. I don’t do it allll the time. I’m too broke for that life).

* Seriously, doesn't music sound different when you're high?

* Green Day was one of my favorite bands. I’ve been listening to them since I was 10!

* The obsession was real. My ten-year-old self had a binder about the members with all the facts and pictures of Billie (Yes, I was a weird child). I don´t listen to them much anymore. That was practice for my obsession with Panic! at the Disco. I only like one album, though.

* Now my obsession is more towards bands like AVOID, Dayseeker, The Used, etc. I'll listen to the same songs over and over until I can't stand it. I even have a Playlist for that. I recently found a band called Dark Devine, and I dig them.

* I love going to concerts. So, it'd be cool if you liked them too.

* I love love love traveling.

* Please don’t be a giant grouch on vacations. Coworkers complain about their spouse being a shitbird on trips. No thanks.

* I also like staying in, of course! But I’m not a homebody. I struggled during the COVID shutdown. Being cooped up SUCKED. I do not want to beg you to get out of the house. Again, I am NOT a homebody. If you are, we are not a match.

* I have a spicy brain.

* I’m super duper ADHD. Fun times! I’m also like an anxious puppy. Woop woop.

* The most organized thing in my life is this list

* The Office and Parks and Rec are two of my favorite shows. I also like Bob’s Burgers and Avatar The Last Airbender. 

* I don't watch a whole lot of TV, honestly...my ADHD brain enjoys the short videos on Tiktok.

* I talk to myself out loud in public.

* I promise I'm only a little crazy...depends on who you ask.

* I like things like tarot (NO I cannot do a card reading for you. I don't know how, I just think it's cool!My friend does readings for me) and other spiritual stuff. If you're into that too, cool!

* I like men with facial hair. I also like men who are more alt-y (think piercings and tattoos...singer of Dark Divine)....but that isn't a requirement! It's just bonus points.

Why you should date me:

* We can listen to emo bands together whenever you want

* Emo music can mean many things and I’m OK with that.

* You won’t get food poisoning from my cooking

* I can make more than Hamburger Helper and frozen pizzas. Though, the ranch burger hamburger helper is my fave.

* The velveeta skillets are better, though.

* I’m suuuper short. So, if you’re insecure about your height, I gotchu. I’ll make you feel tall..or taller! 

* I don’t care about height and it makes me sad that people feel insecure about something they can’t change.

* I’m a great small spoon…but I guess if you REALLY insist, I can be a jetpack. Buuuuutttt it isn't my first choice...but please don't cuddle all night. I want my space and I need to sprawl out and become a blanket burrito...with one leg out because otherwise, I'll get too hot! We just can't have that.