tw: talk of weight & numbers

I’m 21F, just so ashamed of myself. I lost so much weight a couple years ago and even though it was through disordered ways I lost it, I wanted to maintain that weight. Slowly I’ve been gaining it back. My weight tends to yo-yo but I’m currently at my highest weight since high school. For context I was around 230-240 in hs, dropped to 180, and now I’m up to 207. I don’t have the discipline I once did and even though my purging currently isn’t as severe as it used to be, this weight gain is very triggering. On top of it all, I can’t stop overeating. I’ve been like this my whole life, but as an adult I can just consume so much. Tonight I’ve had chips, biscuits, fries, apples, etc. You’d think I would be full, but I’m never satisfied and the guilt is making things worse. I don’t want to go back to restricting and constant purging, the physical effects were so so bad for me. I’m in credit card debt now getting my teeth fixed from purging, etc…but the stress of weight gain makes me want to ignore the logical side of myself. I don’t know what to do. I’m somewhat recently sober from opioids and smoking weed (which made me extra hungry too). I drink more often than usual especially the last too weeks from overall life stress. I don’t drink too much so I don’t think it’s a huge contributing factor, just thought I’d mention. Any advice?