In this post, I’m sharing a positive (but confusing) experience in kink, and I’m curious if others have had similar feelings following similar scenes.

While attending a BDSM event, a non-Black dom was offering to demo fire play on volunteers. I excitedly raised my hand, undressed to my undies, walked on stage, and laid facedown on a bench that puts you on all fours. The dom swiped alcohol on my back and booty and then tapped a Kevlar torch which sweeped fire across the lines of alcohol. It felt like spicy slaps across my body.

There happened to be a dominant BW in a leather outfit sitting in the front row. She started yelling out at me, “You need to look at me!” I tilt my head and she’s like, “Don’t break eye contact!” Humiliation is very much my kink, so being called out was very nice for me. She asked, “Can I touch you?” I nod happily. So, she comes up on stage, helps light my butt on fire and then spanks me to put the flame out. I cry out in pain/pleasure and beg her to keep going. And she gets more aggressive, calling me “hard-headed”, “stubborn”, “bad”, and just telling me what she wants me to do (while asking my consent the whole time, of course). She then started digging her acrylics into my tingling skin.

Yall, it felt sooooo good. I’ve always been a sub, but haven’t had someone effectively get into my head the way she did.

I think what really got me is that her dominant personality felt very familiar and real. She reminded me of some negative life experiences where I genuinely felt humiliated. It was just a mind-fuck, like it flipped some traumatic experiences on its head.

Is anyone else into kink? Have you ever had a moment like this? How did you deal? I can’t stop ruminating about all the conflicting feelings I have.