I’m a 30F and my partner is a 32M. We were FWB for a little over 2 years whilei was in grad school and about 6 months ago we decided to become exclusive. He’s the sweetest, most supportive man I’ve ever dated. We have some differences… he’s an introvert and self-proclaimed blerd and I’m basically the opposite. But the biggest difference is that I make almost 2.5x as much as him annually. TBH, I knew this going in but as FWB he’d still buy me flowers, take me out to dinner and buy small gifts for bday/Christmas so I figured he was ok. However, now that we’re in a relationship I’m realizing his financial limits are much lower than mine and I don’t think it’s going to work.

We’re short-long distance… less than 2 hours away but because of or work schedules, we can only manage an overnight visit every 2 weeks. But he’s planning to move to my city by the end of the year to start a mechanic program and to be closer to me. Lately though, I’ve had my reservations. Because he’s trying to save for the move, his money has been tight. Extremely tight. During his last visit, he didn’t have $15 to spare for takeout and when I most recently visited him, he asked me to pay for the concessions at the movies since he bought the tickets. I’m all about footing the bill from time to time but not because my 30-something bf doesn’t have it. There’s a difference.

I’m just confused. I really care about this guy and every other pro outweighs the cons, but I feel so disappointed by his lack of financial security. It feels selfish to expect more from him when I know he’s trying to get ahead but I also have sacrificed so much to be in my position and I want to enjoy it now. I can’t plan trips with him or decide to try a new restaurant on a random night unless I’m footing the bill which I just refuse to do. The program he plans to do is just under 2 years so it’ll be at least that long that things will, financially, remain the same for him and I don’t know if I can commit to that.

Have any of you ever been in a similar situation? All my friends are saying I should end things... That I’ll start to resent him which admittedly I can see happening just based on my past experiences. But I also don’t want to give in too easily especially since he is trying. Finding a good hearted man is hard.

Any advice is welcomed and appreciated.

TLDR: Dating a guy in his 30s who makes significantly less than me but is trying to get ahead. His plan will take at least 2 years and I’m not sure if I can commit to that and thinking of breaking up. Need advice.