I (M20) have recently been ghosted by someone I truly cared about, and although that wasn't the first time it happened, this one specifically hurt me a lot.

And I keep telling myself to never get tired of love, but part of me is now starting to reject the idea. Maybe this is what it means to be heart-"broken", but I'm scared that I'd just start losing hope for love.

I've only made moves on guys, because I don't feel romantic nor sexual attraction to women. I only find them physically attractive and especially get interested on outgoing personalities. But I know that if I ever do go out with a girl, she would just be a subject for my 'experimental phase' because I'm already sure I don't see myself actually falling in love with the opposite gender.

Now, is it really just harder to find someone genuine in guys or am I just unlucky for being matched with people who can't properly communicate?

I want to fall in love. I want to love. I want to be loved. But honestly, I'm just tired of hoping and waiting for love to find me.