My boyfriend and I were part of a rave fam until Tuesday. We’re supposed to be at Thunderdome with some of them. The reason we got kicked out? Because the plan was that we were going to DD 2 of the 3 nights because we’d be sober those two nights, they changed their minds and decided they wanted to drive while inebriated, and we took issue with that. So they told us we couldn’t join them for Thunderdome, then removed us from the bigger group chat.

And nobody from the chat is talking to us. Nobody has stood up for us. Nobody has said “hey guys, partying is fun, but PLURR includes responsibility, and that means giving a fuck about your life and your friends lives.” Which means we spent months getting to know 15 people that ultimately lied to us about who they are and their level of integrity. Or are at the very least unwilling to stand up for what’s right. And they all just let us go, literally without comment.

We’re baffled… and incredibly disappointed. We’re so hurt by this. We’re ultimately grateful that we no longer have people around us that are willing to put pride before safety. But like… apparently, all of them are willing to do that. And we just feel so sad, and a bit empty. And are really nervous about finding people in the rave community that do party responsibly like we do. We’ve known these people since June and they straight up lied to themselves and us. Our faith in humanity is already broken, and this rave fam was starting to heal that for us, because we thought we’d found like minded individuals. Whoops.

Please take care of yourselves everyone. Please take care of your friends. Stay hydrated. Be honest with yourselves. And party responsibly.

PLURR 💜

Edit for clarity:

15 people in the big group, 8 people were going to Thunderdome. We live in SLC. 4 per car. 2 of the 4 in the other car are kinda the group leaders, an engaged couple that brought us all together. I was going to drive their car to the venue, then drive it back while my boyfriend had our other two friends in our car.

My boyfriend and I aren’t super huge bass heads, but we love Seattle and wanted to spend time with our friends, so we got a Sunday ticket. The plan for the last 4 months was we would DD Friday and Saturday, they’d DD us Sunday. She privately messaged me Monday saying that he was going to drive all 3 nights, meaning they wouldn’t DD us for 1/3, and asked us to ask the others in our car to do it. So without letting the group know, they wanted to change the safety plan, and have us ask to inconvenience one of the other members. So my boyfriend and I brought it to the group chat, and the guy accused us of “airing out dirty laundry”. Our question is, how is making everyone aware that their sober ride for the show/plan for the weekend is changing airing dirty laundry? What part of your actions are you so eager to hide buddy?

Their reasoning for him wanting to drive is “he wants his car”. But it’d be there. I was going to drive them over, leave his car in the parking lot, then my boyfriend and I were gonna go on dates in Seattle/hang out at the Airbnb. So the guy would have had his car at the venue. But for some reason he simply must drive his car all weekend.

The guy has some anger issues and it showed right away. He didn’t try to find a resolution with us at all about this, he immediately fell to insults and threats. He wanted to fight my boyfriend. He also proudly boasted that he’d wait 1-3 hours in the parking lot before driving home. Which is laughable, because at that point, he’s not even the DD, he’s just the driver. Any one of them could’ve sobered up in that time and driven home. But since he simply must have bumps right as the music is ending, he’d make everyone in the car wait on him. And make all of them more of a target cause cops could get real curious about why that car is taking so long to leave.

His anger issues have us worried about his fiancée. We think she has dealt with his anger so much she will let him do whatever. And the two other passengers are her best friend, and the best friend’s boyfriend. We think the best friend is dealing with the guy for the girl’s sake, and I think the boyfriend is dealing with it all because of his girlfriend. And none of them want the anger turned on them. And quite possibly they really just don’t care about their safety/arrest records.

The two in our car were sympathetic, and so was the rest of the group once we messaged them, but everyone made it clear they weren’t going to say anything against the engaged couple’s opinions. Which is enabling, and just sad.

We didn’t end up going to Thunderdome. They kicked us out of the Airbnb, and we were only going for one night, and mainly to spend time with them, so it was pointless to go.

To those saying there’s more to the story, we agree. We don’t think this was just about DDing and the guys pride being questioned. We think there’s more that they’re not telling us. But all we have is “we got kicked out for wanting everyone safe and because his pride couldn’t handle that”.

We’re happy the trash took itself out. It just sucks. Thanks for the memories I guess lol

2nd edit: thank you for all the love and support! 💜💜💜