This is my first time as an FA in a relationship (after a traumatic divorce 3 years ago). Despite regular reassurance, I never feel safe in my current relationship. I fight the avoidance, and we talk about it, and he’s very patient and accommodating.

But at a certain point, the cycle has to stop. I get triggered, I withdraw, we finally talk, and it’s good for a while. Lately the cycle feels like it’s been happening once or twice a week. And I’m tired.

Even though he is a good man with no red flags, we’re both very busy with other things, and that is not going to change. I know I can’t be the center of his world, (even though he is absolutely the center of mine, which in itself feels unhealthly and unbalanced). And I can’t really settle for less than that at this point (as unrealistic is that may be).

We love each other a lot, but I’m tired of spinning. Tired of wondering when I’ll hear from him. I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of feeling exhausted by all of this. I’m just done.