I’ve been involved with an organization (it functions as a nonprofit but legally is not one) for the past four years. It’s been a huge part of my middle and high school experience, and I am known by most people for my involvement. I am very interested in this organization, attending “boring” meetings that I’m not required to be at, and I know more about it and its history than most people. After working my butt off for the past two years, I finally got a state-level leadership position (I’ve had a local one for the past 2 years as well).

I’ve wanted this position since before I started high school, and now it’s causing me more stress than I can physically handle. The adults in charge (who have all more or less known me since middle school) are incredibly aggressive and shut me down immediately every time I propose anything. I’ve been told by my friends on the board that one of them in particular hates me (she is much harsher with me than anyone else). I get sick to my stomach before sending an email to the adults (the other students on the board are great, it’s really just the adults). I used to get excited to attend events with this organization, and now all I feel is pure dread.

This morning, I was telling someone about all of this and just started sobbing uncontrollably. I know I need to be more resilient, but I have always had social issues and this is usually the one place where I’m accepted and well-liked. I thought I could handle being in a leadership position, but I’m worried that that’s not the case and that I won’t be able to handle having a job as an adult.

How problematic is this?