I am 21 years old. 6'2 and yes rather chubby. I'm fairly strong, a little arm muscle, thick thighs and I have a big butt lol. I think it all balances out with my height but I am nowhere near slim, skinny or having a conventionally attractive body. My username checks out, I am indeed a horny college kid and I shamelessly love sex and hooking up, safely of course. I get a lot of nasty comments every now and then, I'm ugly, I'm fat, etc. I generally shake then off and ignore them, they genuinely don't bother me as much as they used to. Now while I love sex, I have been looking for something more. I want a relationship. All the cute and romantic shit. Didn't get to have an ounce of it when I was younger, I've been on one (1) date, over 2 years ago, didn't go anywhere. I have used all the apps. Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, also never goes anywhere. I know the "guys just want sex not a relationship" stereotype and it's very real. Idk if it's my weight, my looks, etc. But I have all in all given up. I live in a large city, over 800K people and yet there seems to be not a single guy who wants to date me. That's fine. So I am very vulnerable when any guy seems to be interested in me. This has happened 3 times now. 3 different guys, skinny and conventionally attractive have all taken advantage of my vulnerability. Literally the same thing happened all 3 times. Met 2 on Grindr, matched with the third on Tinder, Bumble AND Hinge. We start talking. Exchange social media, phone numbers, we don't run off to hook up immediately. After some time we meet, I feel ~ something ~ for them, they make me believe they like me and are attracted to me, we hook up and then BOOM. One tells me he's in a relationship and to not take it personally when he blocks me. One tells me he just isn't interested in me relationship wise after months of flirting, getting to know each other and hooking up. And I find out the other is a Chubby Chaser through his Twitter. All he replies to and retweets is chub and superchub porn. I'm fairly certain ALL 3 are Chubby Chasers. They DO NOT disclose that with me upfront. I think we have a genuine connection and spark but it feels like they just end up using me. It makes me sad. It makes me mad. I've cried about this. It makes me feel dirty. It makes me feel like I am nothing but a fetish and an easy fuck. I know close to nothing about Chasers. Do they just want the chubby guys' body? Do they want to get to know them and date them and love them? It makes me so confused. And yet I feel like an idiot for feeling wanted and desired but they don't care about me, my feelings or getting to know me. All they care about is my body. After YEARS of hating myself and my body, I have been feeling better about myself, I've been more confident and have a higher self-esteem and they just completely tore that down. Society tells me I have an undesirable body and yet these 3 conventionally attractive boys like it. It is fucking with me mentally and emotionally. Just needed to get this off my chest and write out my feelings. Fuck them. I hope one day I'll find the love and romance I yearn but, FUCK, it's hard.