Thanks for your open ears and answer!

I definitely need something to help, something that‘s a chemical (or biological). I tried since I was 15 (for depression and social anxiety generalized anxiety, diagnosed since then, suffered already symptoms since born of all of these) but I tried so much of therapy (2 analytical depth psychology therapies, 1 cognitive behavioral, hypnosis) & exposure (go out a lot, meet people and attend jobs even when socially anxious and depressed as hell, travel a lot, get on a hell lot of various kinds of social events), gym.

Now even my doc tells me after all that work and time it must be a physical biochemical issue. We tried many meds (about 15 different ones, you know all the ssris snris tetras tricyclics etc pp you name it) since I was 15 years old. Sadly nothing worked much even after going high in doses and taking regularly for months.

Kava was good, kinda expensive and hard on the stomach but legally freely available and helpful. Very sad I can‘t take it to help much anymore and then straight get bad full blown allergic reactions straight after one cup.

Kratom was a big thing for sure in my life, too. Also doesn‘t work that well anymore with the time and with the time my body also really developed something on it too that when taking Kratom in doses that help I get increased physical anxiety big time. I always only had bad mental anxiety before. Kratom also had bad dependence & withdrawals for me. Helped depression a LOT but social anxiety never much tbh. Now makes anxiety a LOT worse.

Pregabalin used to help more than anything else (even if maybe only let‘s say 40-50% symptom reduction) but there are times and was a time short ago I kinda was obligated to take it daily. Lost main effects now, too. But will work on getting down that tolerance and use it very sparingly again to help me because Pregabalin was the only prescribed med that helped me a good bit (still not a lot that I wouldn‘t be suffering life).

Don‘t know where else to start looking. Life is a big pain. Mentally and physically (mental affects my physical health a lot).

Maybe psychedelic therapy as ketamine is used now even in schoolbook medicine more? But I‘m afraid to do shrooms or this ayahuasca kinda things as I tried weed and THC really puts me in a huge mental mess, paranoia, depressed, anxiety as hell and so on.

Otherwise MAOIs? There still are MAOIs like Parnate or Nardil or Selegiline to try. But hard to get docs to try it on you.

Benzos? Hm never a big fan of it. Too afraid getting hooked on it and being worse after I might get addicted to it and withdraw from for years. You know, the typical Benzo issues. Additionally I even tried Lorazepam & Diazepam prescribed by my doc and while they reduced suffering a bit it was not much. Pregabalin & Gabapentin helped way more and are kinda safer imo. I don‘t know if other benzos might work better than the two I tried? Like clonazepam, bromazepam or aflrazopalam (xanax)…?

ADHD meds? I remember they helped a lot when my cousin gave me to try (he suffers ADHD). I think my diagnosis might be wrong since I was 15 (~10 years ago) and I definitely suffer many ADD symptoms as cognition issues depression and anxiety are symptoms of ADD patients, too. I tried asking my docs a lot about possible ADD. Because of my first disgnosis of depression/anxiety they were kinda unsure about it, never tried on it and always wanted to get my depression and anxiety in hand first before trying on test me on ADD. They say my ADD symptoms might just be the symptoms of my depression and anxiety. Well of course. Your cognitions gets bad due to depression/anxiety, my memory and ability to focus. But on the other hand as said ADD may cause depression/anxiety itself the other way round, too. So I really think this might be the right one, at least the right one to test now for and see if it was ADD the whole time - especially as med Ritalin worked so well for my symptoms.

What should I even do when all docs don‘t go on trying out ADD with me, especially as it‘s mainly disgnosed in childhood when you have bad grades in school and are kind of a problem child and I‘m way behind childhood now being an adult. To that my grades were always medium, not bad I was rather the silent child (hence ADD without the H part but people and also docs mainly think about ADHD).