Hey, so I (32F) have been with my allosexual boyfriend (29M) for about 2 years and we live together. He has an extremely high sex drive and I just recently came out to him as Asexual/Gray Ace and very sex neutral. I am Romance-Favoring and enjoy all other forms of touch/kissing. I thought I was Demisexual, but after questioning asexuality my entire life since I was a teen, I realized I really have no desire to engage in it and would be happy to never have sex again in my life.

My boyfriend has been extremely supportive of this all and trying to help me process everything/reassuring me because I’ve felt a lot of guilt/as if I’d been lying to everyone. He has been extremely sweet about it all and has respected me not being interested in sex for quite a while now (before me telling him I’m Ace). I told him I’m not sex-repulsed and will do it to make him happy/that I am indifferent if he wishes to engage in it, but he doesn’t enjoy sex if his partner isn’t genuinely into it and he can tell I’m not.

We’d discussed polyamory previously (my idea) and now have revisited it given the circumstances. I thought we’d just break up, but he wants to still be with me. I suggested perhaps doing ENM/kitchen table poly where he can date/hookup with others and I could also chat with/date others if so inclined. We both aren’t particularly jealous individuals but our friends are worried that it could go south because they’ve had/heard of poly gone wrong. He says he would ideally like us to be able to be in a throuple, but I told him that’s not very common/likely. He’s more optimistic than I.

We have both only been monogamous in relationships before. I’d appreciate any insight or advice navigating the situation. I’ve told him if I have to be out of the picture for him to be happy, I want that for him and he’s said the same for me, but as of now, we both quite enjoy one another’s company and affections.

TLDR: came out as asexual to my allo boyfriend, likely going to try poly so he can get his needs met without me having to engage in sex/him having an under-enthusiastic partner for it. Potential of me dating others too. We’ve both only been monogamous before.

To note: I am panromantic.