(throwaway account)

So, I got a new job, in the field I love. I have a master's degree, and 7 certifications for the job. It pays well, has great benefits, and seemed perfect. Until they lied to me.

First, unlimited PTO. Was told before I was hired, as long as it's not an unreasonable amount, you can take time off whenever you need it. Then I got hired and it was, "Except during 48 weeks of the year when you need to be working. Oh and two of the remaining 4 weeks everyone has off. So you can't call in during any of the 48 work weeks."

Second, yeah, we are gonna start you working at the first of the year, so we're just gonna train you for a few months. Oh, well now that job vanished, so we will try to get you working sometime in March, maybe. For now, do all this busy work. Oh we just hired this other guy for a position that were trying to find for you.

Third, Yeah, you have everything you need, all your certs are up to date, and ready. Oh, now we want you to get this cert... Oh and this other cert you specifically told us that you didn't have any interest in getting, and, in fact, told us you actively didn't want to get, you have to get that one too.

As we said in college, this is an "RGE" (Resume generating event)