I stupidly thought I'd actually be happy this year but it's been the worst year of my life, not only am I completely alone yet again, but I get to spend this Christmas, my favorite holiday, alone as always. I just wanted to be happy, to spend Christmas with someone for the first time in my life but no, that's too much to ask for in this world 💜

Idk how much fight I have left in me, I feel like I'm drowning, barley keeping my head above water, and for what? There's nothing to keep fighting for, nobody to love, nobody to be happy with, nobody who actually wants anything to do with me, there's just nothing 💜

I just want to belong to someone for once, I'm a very soft and sensitive person, I get obsessed and attached EXTREMELY fast, but nobody seems to want that. Nobody seems to want ME.

I just want 1 good Christmas in my lifetime, just one where im not completely and utterly alone.

Life is hell, and hell is very, very lonely.

Merry early Christmas to anyone reading this, i hope you have a much better holiday than I will this year 🌙