I've been thinking about talking about this for a bit, but I didn't want to come off as combative or rude or anything like that. I just want to preface this that I do believe in an afterlife, and that consciousness continues on after death, that being said, I just want to vent about some stuff that worries me I guess.

The thing that prompted me to make this thread was that there was another one a few weeks ago asking if there was sex in the afterlife (I know there are many that ask this so it doesn't really narrow it down, but it was a recent deleted one), and both that thread and the comments in it where down voted for saying yes, there is sex in the afterlife.

There are opposing beliefs in what the afterlife is like, and I totally understand that since we really won't know for certain until we go there, but it seems that the majority of people here, r/NDE, and r/Mediums all say that the afterlife is very limited. We are balls of light that float around in bliss forever with a singular emotion.

I really don't like the idea of reincarnation, the concept of the higher self, the idea that we can only experience the things that we do here and if we want to experience it again we HAVE to reincarnate, the idea that we plan our lives out or we are here for a contractual obligation (soul contract), etc. There is no finality or anything with these ideas, and the idea that my "higher self" can put me in any situation it wants is something I absolutely hate. I've lived a fairly rough life. I've been suicidal for most of my life, I'm way behind my peers in everything (I didn't get my license until I was 21, I have crippling social anxiety which has stopped me from working most jobs and its a struggle to find one, I'm 27 and I still have not had my first kiss or sex yet, etc), and in general I just have not enjoyed life. It's been a massive struggle.

And while I have no intentions of ending it anytime soon, the idea that if I want to experience food, video games, being creative (I'm a musician, game dev, and I love writing stories), or do anything that makes existing worth it I would have to reincarnate and do everything again and go through all of this again. And whats worse, my "higher self" could put me in an even worse position that the one I'm in now if he felt like it.

I believe that our consciousness is created when we are born, then we die, then we get a personalized afterlife. For me, I want to be able to be around friends, family, and hopefully my future wife (assuming I somehow manage to get married) while living in a cabin in the mountains by a lake in a forest. Being able to go to concerts, continue doing the things I want, and maybe even being able to live in the stories that I write. I want to rest forever in my ideal afterlife having fun for eternity. The last thing I want is to be forced into reincarnation to enjoy the few pleasures that life has to offer. Because honestly, if that was the case, then I would really prefer there just be nothing after death.

One life is more than enough, and it really worries me that there are so many conflicting views on the afterlife. Mediums will say yes and no to being able to experience a physical afterlife (I don't really believe in mediums, but I take their views into account since they are the same as everyone else's), people here will say yes and no to that, and people on the NDE sub will say yes and no to that. Is it really so bad to want a physical afterlife?

This turned out waaaayyyyy longer than I intended it to, so I'll wrap it up. I hope I don't offend anyone, and I probably went into more detail about my personal life than I should have, but I just wanted to get this off my chest and see what everyone else thinks.