I'm supposed to be figuring out my next steps in life after a drastic change and I feel beyond hopeless. I have no motivation or energy to think beyond the current day as far as planning or organizing anything involving bettering myself. I feel absolutely buried in emotion and regret and self loathing. There is a constant black cloud of negativity swirling around inside of me and it is taking all of my strength to try to control it.

Therapy feels like a waste of time, although everything feels like a waste of time these days.

I wish there was something I could do to get me to snap out of this, a jolt to the brain or something. A metaphorical brain wash, an epiphany, a eureka moment. Fucking something, anything.

The future is bleak, fuck the world.