I wanna text you and have a talk, but about what? Why you? Why haven't I been able to forget you like all the others? Why are you stuck inside my head.

Idk. I just wanna figure out what she meant to me, what all the time we spent together meant, is it really meaningless, can you really continue your life as if it never happened, as if we're just strangers.

Fuck, It's that feeling again the feeling I hate so much.

Why do you wanna text her, why haven't you gotten over her, why are you even still thinking about her, and wait a minute weren't you the one who ended things be a man of your word and don't go back on it, you did it for a reason and more importantly where do you get off after you hurt her, I know exactly why you wanna text her it's none of what you claim, it's obvious from looking at you right now writing a letter to an app on your phone at 3am that no one meaningful is gonna read how fucking sad and lonely are you, laying on your bed in the complete darkness trying to numb the voices and go to sleep and failing miserably, you're laughable. Tonight you don't get to sleep you sack of shit, that's why you wanna text her, as little as it was she was the only person to give you the slightest hint of giving a shit about you, of caring about you, of thinking of you, how sad is that, even with all the neglect and tiniest droplet of fake care and memorized phrases that are said without any thought or feeling behind them, you still can't help but miss it, because you're pathetic, you're weak. Yk what you don't even deserve someone to think about you, stay up staring at your wall while your phone is playing some random pointless youtube video in a depressing attempt to calm your brain down enough to sleep.

Tonight you don't get to sleep, tonight your eyes burn and hurt from the screen that's attached to the end of your hand. Have a fun life. No one is ever gonna love someone like you.

...

I hate the feeling of hesitation, of not being sure.