Dear H, I understand that I broke your trust and I am deeply sorry. I now understand how the things that I did affected our relationship. If there is anything I can do to restore some level of security and stability to our relationship after I broke your trust please let me know. I am willing to do whatever is needed. Is there anything I can do to start the journey of restoration? I realize that I haven't been a good partner to you, but I want to change.

   I have had a lot of time for self reflection and have come to that I wasn't unhappy with anyone but myself, and that you were right when you said that I was listening but not hearing what you were saying. I was too busy worrying about myself and what my demon's were telling me, and for that I'm very sorry. I needed to show you more respect. I realize that I have unintentionally invalidated your feelings by not hearing you. I took what you were saying as an attack on my character. In doing this I would internally shut down, I should have been trying to understand your emotions and trying to figure out what I was doing to drive that emotion to surface in the first place. 

I know that things have to change, so I have taken some steps to fix myself. I have gotten into therapy once a week. I believe this is helping. I have also joined a mentorship program for the next 90 days. This will help me become a better communicator, listener, and leader. It will also help me learn the tools to understand and deal with my emotions, and help to better understand how I affect other people's emotions.

  I have also started going to church again. It was a little awkward at first going by myself. But I have really come to enjoy it and look forward to it each week. I have actually decided to get baptized. I wish I would have went all the times you asked me to go. If I had, then maybe things wouldn't be like this now. 

I really am trying and wish you could see. I miss you terribly. More than you will ever know. I realize that you were right about all of the material things, and how it doesn't matter. I know that I can handle it all by myself, but to be honest it doesn't mean much without you. I want you in my life and would do anything for the chance to show you that I can be the man that you deserve. 

My deepest sincerity, C.