I failed. I bet it all and went for my dream and I’m in the process of losing it all. June 12 is like dooms day as the clock constantly tics towards its

I was hoping the people who doubted me wouldn’t see, it’s been years. Today I noticed that they were looking. It was like wild fire. I got a notice that each of you looked one after the other as the news spread. The people who held me back, who told me I couldn’t do something all just saw I was failing. They get their laugh, they get to say they told me so. They get to be right for doubting me. They get to be right every time they told me I couldn’t do something. I couldn’t change my stars.

It has crushed something in me. I had a chip on my shoulder, that I counted on to push through hard times. Today took a hammer to it. I am so low, I feel fractured. Just this little thing hurt me so bad.

These are the people that kept me trapped, they would never have taken a risk in their life. I want to say at least I tried, where were you? But in the face of failure do I even have the right.

I should have never tried. I’m in such a deep hole and I’m not sure I’m strong enough to get out. I know it’s going to take a lot of work. I’m going to have to do it myself. I’m not going to be able to count on the people who are currently in my life.

That make me angry, who are they to doubt someone else. Who are they to wish for my failure. I’ll find my steam, you will hear the ring of my hammer as it hits the anvil in my soul. Each ring letting you know I’m coming. I build, it’s what I do, only this time I have nothing left to lose. Get out of the way I have work to do….