So, like the subject line says; I'm an AirBnB host. We do long-term stays only, and since Covid, we almost entirely only host medical personnel or med students. We have hosted both for a long time, we sometimes also handle people relocating in and out of the city, as well as the occasionally long-term vacationer(s) from Europe, Australia & New Zealand.

Almost every, single season, we get at least 1-2 inquiries from male med student's moms, frequently with a WHOLE list of questions/requests/demands. This has never once, in 10ish years of hosting, happened with a female med student. Also, never once has a dad tried to book for a child (Never once have a had a man try to book on behalf of anybody, actually).

One thing that is a big deal with AirBnB is 3rd party bookings. Basically, that is exactly what I'm mentioning above - someone trying to book on behalf of someone else. I would guess someone with a law degree can explain it better than me, but my understanding is that legally-speaking, I should not ever enter into a contract with someone who is NOT the person staying in my home. This is safer for all of us, for legal purposes. The exception being a company booking for employees. That is covered legally. But a parent booking for a child (or vice versa, which I've had happen before), or any other person trying to book a stay who does not plan to be there personally - that's something that I can reject without penalty. And while some hosts WILL do 3rd party bookings, due to previous experiences, with them, I never will again. I'd sooner get off the platform.

Over the years, I'd gotten one of two reactions when I let moms know that they cannot book for their son. The first is no answer at all. Great, awesome, that is what I want. The second reaction is what inspired this post: Outrage. Don't I know what an excellent person her son is and HOW BUSY med students are? I am being RIDICULOUS and they will take their business elsewhere if I'm going to be so unreasonable.

Great, hon, you take your business elsewhere. If I can't talk to your son, I can't get an idea of if he knows basic things, like how to clean up for himself. I have had two male med students tell me that they don't really understand what "cleaning up after yourself" means, so it would probably be best if we hired a cleaner for their stays. I thanked them for their honesty and told them they wouldn't be a good fit. How to respond to a message in a punctual manner. If he has read and understands all of our house rules. I know he's your precious son, but to me, he's just another rando and I like making sure as much as I can before accepting someone that they're not going to suck to share space with.

We tried hosting 2 3rd party bookings in our early days. One was a pregnant woman booking for her parents who were coming to stay nearby for the birth of her first child. I don't know how she represented our place to them, but they clearly expected that we WOULD be cleaning up after them, and there was a lot of stank face when we made it clear that we weren't being paid to wash all their dirty dishes or collect their laundry for them. They didn't know I spoke a bit of their language, so when they called me a whore for having a male roommate, well, that was a fun conversation in pigeon Italian.

The other time was, once again a woman booking for her boyfriend. Same deal, I don't know what she told him, but he had VERY different expectations as to what we were offering and when he showed up (to stay in my home with me) at 2am (and I graciously stayed up to let him in that late), he sneered at my very reasonable PJs (a nice cotton matching PJ set that is kind of my "night uniform" for dealing with guests) and basically refused to stay with us. This put her into a panic because (and she explained to me with tears in her eyes) her roommates had forbidden him to stay with them anymore, so she had no idea how to find him a nice place at 2am.

So that's my story. To me this is one of those places where causal sexism shows its face. On the whole, it generally doesn't matter so much. But in the moment, dealing with an outraged mom for not helping her make her precious med student son's life a little easier (and yes, I reported her), it's really fucking irritating.

edited for typos