Not in a depressing, self-pitying way. In fact, the thought's been pretty freeing.

I'm 29 and I just got out of a long term relationship last year where I'd already laid out what the rest of my life would look like as a wife. When it ended, it felt like I had to find a partner by XYZ time or else this future just wouldn't happen.

But since I started dating again I've been shocked to find how much dating is a numbers game these days. Some of my friends have leaned into it heavily and end up cycling through bad date after bad date. So far I've mostly been dealing with red flags and mind games and it's really put me off the whole venture entirely.

The few times I had a genuinely good time were when I dated guys with no real intention of entering a relationship with them at all. It took all the pressure off, let me enjoy the connection for what it was rather than be on high alert all the time. I think I'd like to keep it that way.

Dating is time-consuming and anxiety-inducing. The wrong relationships can be expensive and exhausting. And I've experienced enough of both to know that companionship for the sake of it isn't that great. I like devoting my time and energy to other things: work, community service, my passions, friendship, family. I already have a full life without a man around.

So, I'm going to proceed the way I have been, enjoying partners as experiences and hoping maybe one works out enough to be worth a full relationship. I understand that that means I may never get married, and I'll be okay either way.