This was a few years ago. I was on a language exchange in another country. I was living with another family and the new and unknown location as well as the way you could hear a lot from other people in the house made me feel very exposed. Case in point I didn't feel comfortable masturbating at the time.

So I did the only thing that came to my mind at the time. I would just not masturbate. Back then I wasn't even into edging and denying. I knew it felt better to cum after waiting for a while but it was by far no kink yet.

So one day I am texting a friend. She wasn't someone I usually had a lot of contact with but it just happened that she wanted to show me her new cosplay. It was a misty cosplay that was also very sexy as well and I was having a raging boner as soon as she sent me some pictures.

I told her that it looked great but added that it was sort of not helping me right now to which she asked why.

I told her about not having masturbated for weeks now and she immediately started sending me more pictures but this time much sexier. She focused on her cleavage and her figure much more. Teasing me and telling me to just hold out and it will be okay after.

I wish I reacted differently at the time but the fact she was a friend and that I was really shy around girls back then made me not flirt back. Instead I just missed the chance to see what would have happened.

But ever since I just got really turned on by her. Every time she posted on social media and showed off even a little bit or when I met her and she was dressed a bit revealing I'd be struggling not to stare.

During the language exchange I kept thinking about the pictures she sent me and it made me go from completely functional to a totally unusable horny mess.

The thoughts of just whipping it out and masturbating somewhere I could feel remotely save, even if it is in public repeatedly came to my mind.

This went on for 3 weeks. No cumming. I occasionally started stroking when I felt safer but then got scared so I stopped mid-fap. Essentially edging to the memory of her pictures (they were sent via snapchat so I didn't have them anymore) or to pictures she actually posted on social media.

For those three weeks I became a complete mess of a simp for that woman. Constantly denying myself release. The whole time I was edging and denying myself I was only thinking about this girl and I think it did something to my brain.

After that I was essentially jerking off to her all the time. Secretely wishing I could get her to do more. But she had a boyfriend later on and for some time we fell out of contact.

A while back we got in contact again and even though I never really stopped jerking off to her the moment she made an onlyfans account I was flipping out.

She was pretty open about these things with me so I got to know she's a findom to a mutual friend and also did sell her used panties and boots to guys just as obsessed over her as me.

I even pulled my courage together and asked if she would sell me her used panties but she denied. Oh god I would have cum buckets to that panty...

Anyway she started an onlyfans and has been selling her nudes on the site ever since. She doesn't know I follow her on there but I'm probably one of her most active followers. I comment on almost all the posts and we even have some private chats occasionally.

It is so hot to interact with her that way. Edgind and leaking just to us texting harmless stuff and me knowing I'm getting some attention. I wish she would dominate me in some form for real but since she rejected selling me panties I'm just simping for her in secret.

I often imagine her dominating me. Making me worship her, denying me or ruining my orgasms. Just before I wrote this down I looked at her onlyfans and edged again. I'm addicted to her and I sometimes wish I could get myself to never look at other porn than her nudes and also to never cum to her but only edge and maybe ruin an orgasm when it gets hard.

Her not knowing it is me when we chat on onlyfans is a hot mix of frustration and gratification. I sometimes get so horny and excited when I see she messaged me again.

Sometimes I just write her texts complimenting her because I'm such a simp for her and just need to tell her how she's perfect to get a release from time to time.

It's amazing! The only thing is just that I have to pay her for this privilige. In some way it makes it hotter but in some way I really wish I could just be her real life slave and kiss her feet and worship her body for nothing in return.