I am going to take time to myself to figure things out. I can't reset some sort of switch this time without space, if the switch is even able to reset. It is clear to me that you are in a mental and emotional space that is not conducive to a healthy relationship. I have done my best to be as supportive and understanding as possible to your situation, but it seems that I have become a scapegoat for many things that don't go your way. Your lack of introspection inhibits your ability to grow or even forgive and move on. This creates an inner sentiment that you have no fault for your situation or how your actions affect others. To you, your actions are no big deal, but even a minor transgression perceived against you is a major deal. Not only are you incapable of forgiveness but you are unable to apologize for your actions. You only view others as valuables; tools that either benefit you or are a hindrance to your lifestyle. The former must be held close while the latter misused until they comply. Instead of grabbing control of your life you have decided to drink daily, limit any exercise or meditation practices, eat poorly, and sleep even worse. Instead of changing your direction you have become complacent to sit at home unemployed, pissed off at the system to your children's detriment.

I will not and can not be with someone like this. It is my fault for falling for a pure dream and smoke screen, but yours for having a partner willing to assist and support you and your family and instead shunning her, putting her down, and expecting her to pick up every ounce of your slack without a shred of acknowledgement or appreciation. 

There is nothing here for me to hold on to. I have seen where this is headed, and it is only being dragged through the mud after brushing myself off again and again.

I am done. Figure out your life. If you're ever ready to aim to deserve me, I'll be around. But I won't stay and watch while you burn me over an untidy house or noisy kids. Your issues extend far deeper than mine. 

Get sober.

Get a real full time job.

Get your child support payed and kept up with.

Get involved in your children's lives.

Get off YouTube and into the real world. 

I am no longer your ticket.