I'm getting married this year and 3 of my friends are my bridesmaids. They are beautiful, wonderful people who I love with all of my heart and I am lucky to have them. However, I can't tell them the reason I'm changing the style of their dresses for the wedding.

I'm East Asian and live in the UK. I'm very petite, I'm 5ft nothing, weigh less than 50kg (110lbs), and am a size UK 4-6 (US 0-2). Whilst I'm tiny by UK standards, I'm considered average in my part of Asia, and fit into size medium clothing. My friends are all English and bigger than me. They're at least 5ft 5, and range from a UK size 12-18 (US 8-12). They have curves in the right places and are beautiful, and one has recently given birth so I'm aware her body will change between now and the wedding.

I wanted them to wear traditional dresses from my home country for the wedding. These dresses are made up of 2 wraps, one that wraps around the waist as a skirt, and one that wraps around the top half. I showed them pictures before hand and they all said they liked the dress style and were happy to wear it. I took their measurements and sent them to my mum in Asia who will get them ordered and made.

One of the other reasons I chose this style, apart from me loving how it looks and being a link to my culture, is that they are adjustable. If they lose weight then we can wrap it tighter, if they gain weight we wrap them looser. Easy. I've heard them all make comments about "needing to lose weight to get wedding ready", and that they think they'll look huge next to me. My friend who had a baby is feeling particularly self conscious. I don't want them to feel bad about themselves or hurt themselves trying to crash diet in order to look the same size as me. I'm literally the size of a child, everyone is bigger than me.

My mum called me today and said there was a problem with the dresses. She is struggling to find a dress maker to make them because "they don't make dresses for fat girls here" (I don't think she meant it in a harsh way, it's just a very blunt language and culture), and might not be able to get them made.

I'm upset that the dresses might not be ready in time, but I'm also trying to think of an excuse for changing the dress style that won't hurt their feelings. I'm also stressed that I've now only got a few months to find new dresses that everyone likes, in colours that fit the theme, and that fit everyone comfortably.

I'm just here to vent. I know I'll figure something out, it's just added so much more stress to everything and I feel like a bad friend.

Edit: I corrected the American size conversion, I wrote this late at night and added 4 instead of subtracting 4. I'm sorry for the confusion.

Thank you for the lovely words and advice, this was mainly to vent. I'm just frustrated about the entire situation. Asia still has some very toxic views and opinions about how women should look and I get annoyed with it all.

To answer some of the questions, the traditional dresses are made from a specific material, so you need to order it in a certain way to maintain the pattern and style. My mum also does not live in a major city in our country and the area is very "traditional ", so these sizes are uncommon and heavily judged. She has tried several dress makers there and they all refused. She said she might try going to one of the bigger cities that has lots of tourists because they might be more accommodating of bigger women, but she struggles to travel so it will be difficult for her. She is trying and I appreciate it.

There are also very few dress makers in the UK that can do this specific style, trust me I have looked. They also live far from where we all live (not all of us are in the same area and have conflicting schedules), and would charge 5-10 times per dress what they cost in our country.

Also one of the main reasons for the style choice was that they are adjustable to accommodate for changes in their weight and size (mainly for friend with baby). They've all made comments about how big they are and I wanted them to be comfortable. Friend with baby wanted a dress in her pre-baby size (2-3 sizes smaller than she is now) as motivation to lose the baby weight. Yes I could tailor the more western style dresses, but once again it's a cost/time/her body could potentially change a little/a lot.

This was just a vent about how unaccommodating my culture is. I'm looking at other dresses, it's just a pain in the arse and I hate last minute changes lol