30M single. ever since age 23 i was looking for love, a girl to have company and enjoy. At that time i wasnt aware of these dating or any pickup tricks etc. so i always thought people love them as they are and there is a soulmate for every person.

I dont have a much of a social life, im an introvert, im interested in movies and tv series, and cars etc. im skinny and tall above 5ft8inch. Im currently working out. But being an ectomorph it is hard to gain my weight, i went to gym for 9months but im still at the same body weight when i started gym last year. Im skinny and underweight for my age. Mu whole life is a disaster. I failed high school exam and had to chose a career i hate. I wanted to have a great social life, with awesome photos tagging in my social media of my cool dayouts and night outs etc. but i dont have such cool friends or a cool life or a cool personality. All my circumstances has made me to a person who have to stay at home. Even my career is an isolated one i hate it to my guts.

From age 23 i was looking for love, and no any girl wanted me back then, when i get a girls number i care for her i text her lot always available for her etc, i didnt know i was turning them off. Yes im needy i mean im fedup being lonely, i text right away cause I enjoy another person's company. And i have never made any women upset, im literally a sweet innocent momma raised guy, i hate it but that's the way i was raised. Im literally a nice guy and i dont have any hidden agenda or taking advantage of any perosn or girl. I was raised by my mom with a passive dad in my house. I was raised not to be a boat rocker on anyone upset. I suckup all the bad things and make others happy hoping they would do the same for me. But they never. Do not tell me being a nice guy i cry over hot girls who cry over jerks assholes and jocks. I alwys wanted to love a person without any conditions and hoping they do the same. Now im 30 and single. Im horny af too. But when i watch dating advice on yt, I literally have to play a game with girl, appearing busy, not pedestalize them, pretend im high value i have options and keep a rotation of girls etc.

Man im just an average nerd who have no social life, i have no cool friends and im not a jock, i just need to love a girl and marry. Idk how to do these games and rotate girls as i only get a one girl for years and they reject me. Dont tell me i go for hottest girls by being nice to them, i once loved a girl who literally had a. One arm. Even she left me while cry over an ex who rejected her. Im fedup why i dont get to love a girl, why i have to play these games, why i have to be someone im not. And why these women cry over people who left them? Just why love is so hard for me?