I’m noticing a high volume of poor skill tops in my area. They were found using the apps so not sure if that’s selection bias (maybe tops from bars or irl connections are better?). I know you shouldn’t generalize but also kinda wanna put this psa out there.

Essentially the last 3 out of 4 guys who tried to top me were really bad. They had very little patience, and did not listen or seem to care about how it felt on my end. They kept trying to push it in, push it deeper when I was just trying to open up onto it or relax. I’d tell them this and they either wouldn’t actually stop trying to push or would wait for about a minute and then keep going. This was within the first like 5-10 minutes of meeting too, barely any foreplay and just trying to stick it in asap. I repeatedly had to tell them to chill out or slow down and give me a second. It’s so concerning when you’re telling someone to stop doing something and then they stop for a bit but then continue…like how am I supposed to relax or assume things will go well when you’re inside at that point? I had literally gone to them wanting to get laid, ready to bottom, and they had been so pushy and inattentive that I not only got turned off but fully left. I repeatedly outlined that I was tight and I needed a guy to go slow even before meeting up. They had said that this would be the case, but the reality was worse than not meeting that bar.

The oral some of them wanted was also horrible too, just deep throat, facefuck with zero control it’s like…do you even feel it at that point if I’m barely able to control the situation? Did you want a blowjob or should I bring out a fleshlight? This can obviously be hot in certain circumstances but idk the way these tops do it with zero work up makes me think they’re super desensitized. I know a lot of men say they want this or prefer it but it doesn’t actually seem physically pleasurable in practice for the top.

I’ve been bottoming for at least 10 years at this point. I can take plenty of toys and dick, and I’ve topped others as well plenty of times. Say what you want about me being the common denominator but I’ve had enough experiences bottoming to know this isn’t the case. I shut down 2 of the tops, but kept going with the third because he seemed a bit more attentive. We eventually had to stop because it was so uncomfortable.

The 4th top reminded me that good mind blowing sex still exists and that there are tops out there who will actually make you so excited you’ll beg for it. I think that this situation of bad tops is occurring because bottoms are tolerating this shitty behavior for dick and I don’t think it’s right. Please speak up, let your tops know what doesn’t work, and shut them down if it’s not working out. Unfortunately one of the most concerning points here is many of these men were older men, by like a decade or two meaning they likely have a lot of experience under their belt of how they treat bottoms. I can’t know that for sure obviously but I think it’s the case.