So I went through a traumatic experience this winter that forced me to move cities. It's been rough, Ive lost my home, many of my friends, my job, etc. Im kinda in the same city where I was previously really mentally ill. Im struggling to find a job, and friends are kinda iffy for the most part. Before the traumatic experience, I was about to take a month to focus almost solely on my health. I'd been diving into some memories of abuse in childhood that Id ignored until that point. After a bunch of drama coming from my poor mental state, I was excited to refocus. Then the new traumatic events happened and I had to uproot my life.

Now that Im starting to get my life back together, Im seeing a therapist online. It's only been a few sessions. So far we get along fine, and she has useful tips. But so far, the insight that I need isnt forthcoming. It feels like I just trauma dumped for a couple sessions, and now we're just.... chatting about my daily life??? Except Im really fuckin struggling. I keep imagining that I'll break down crying or have some sort of emotional release, or that she'll call me out on something Im tricking myself on. But when Im actually in the sessions, it doesn't happen. It feels like she's observing and noticing, but not pushing me as hard as I need her to. We float from one mundane topic to another. I cant tell if this is simply how she does her practice, or if she's gaining insight, or if she's waiting for more to happen in my life so she has more to comment on. Or maybe she's not noticing just how bad I feel (despite me telling her) because she cant see my body language?