Tl;dr - I’m almost 30, I’m mtf trans and I’m struggling with formulating bonds with my family who I want to actually have a decent familial relationship with. I wasn’t socialised well. Help on how to socialise with other women family members because I feel like I don’t know how to?

For the more in depth explanation….

I came out as trans in Highschool my junior year. My family was not supportive of my transition at all initially, one of the reasons they claim is they were blindsided. This came in various forms such as leaving me out of family functions, making unnecessary comments, to just being absolutely insulting but then offering no help. This went on from my coming out up until I moved away from the section of family in question.

I grew apart from them and lived with the other side of my family. I didn’t get attached and remained emotionally distant from the new side I was exposed to . I honestly didn’t know how to family, and never cared to learn because I figured it would be more of the same. I remained very distant and almost unapproachable as a way of not setting myself up for more disappointment.

Now, I’m back in a position where the people who once ostracized me seem to be accepting of me more or less. Still not getting direct invites but that could be me just not saying like “hey include me from now on”. Also the people who have been more supportive have reached out but, as below, I’m not sure how to advance past the step of reaching out.

I wasn’t socialised as a boy or girl, and was hardly socialised at all. I feel like I missed out on how to talk with other women, and so I feel awkward and unwelcome in the same spaces as my relatives. There are mostly women on both sides of my family and so it’s really intimidating.

Also, I want to have really good cousin relationships,… it was something I always really wanted but have no idea how to do these things. They’re all supportive and really nice but like… how do I move past the point of hey let’s be closer? Like what do cousins do? Especially as we’re like adults?

I’m putting this out for anyone who’s ever had a hard time establishing familial relationships, especially after having those same people be questionable to you into the past.

So. Yeah that’s my word vomit. Help? :/

Any good faith questions will be answered :)