My wife and I are new to all this, but I've been reading this sub for a few months, and there's lots of helpful advice about so many aspects of the lifestyle. It's been especially helpful to provide some confidence that we can try this without blowing up our otherwise phenomenal relationship, and how to help make sure we don't blow it up! But I'm a little concerned about my style of approach to sex, and whether that might cause some problems in group-sex scenarios. Here's a little background:

We're a very hot couple, and I'm not jealous, but my wife is definitely somewhat jealous. She's also incredibly sexual. We have amazing sex, and have for the 8 years of our marriage, with some bumps after each kid was born. We're pretty experimental, and between some rope-play and a kind of tantric play, we usually have sex for 3-5 hours each session (not all PIV, of course!), and she will come 5-20 times.

So far, we've had a MFM that was incredible, but a little too emotionally intense for reasons that are complicated and not relevant (mostly that it involved a friend -- it's all good, thankfully). My wife was having qualms about continuing, but I proposed we go to a party and have sex together in front of others, and just see what it's like. She was nervous, but was very excited about the party. I gave her many opportunities to back out, or post-pone, but she was definitely into it. And the actual event was beautiful. We talked to a bunch of people, enjoyed ourselves, danced, then decided to play. The main play room was pretty full, and just too much for us. So we went into one of the bedrooms and positioned ourselves in front of the open door. While we began to fuck, we were joined by two couples and two single women, all very hot and wet and hard. We kept to ourselves, but had a lot of hot eye contact and enjoyed everyone's energy. It was a really wonderful experience for us both, ad I think for everyone else in the room. And we've been hot like fire ever since. We're definitely planning to continue.

I like to have slow sex. Every woman I've ever slept with has had multiple orgasms, and I've slept with quite a few women (I do suspect that I can kind of sense it in women?). It's hard to imagine just going at it with someone, banging away, and I'm not very inclined to try it. I like to really drive a woman crazy, while alternating between penetration, licking, nipple-play, soft and hard touch, kissing, blow-job, etc. Very sensual, and really trying to get her to ride a series of ascending waves of pleasure. That's my thing, and I'm good at it.

So here's my questions: If I do something like that, will I create a problem for the other man, if he finishes first? I suspect my wife will be angry if she's finished and can't join while I just continue driving some other woman higher and higher. But what can I expect from this kind of situation? And how might I mitigate so that everyone is happy? How should I mention it before we get started? I know I need to talk to my wife, of course. But I'm just trying to get a sense of the lay of the land when it comes to this kind of slow, intense sex in a group/swap environment. Should we try to stay more with orgy-type environments (threesomes, foursomes, etc.), rather than swapping? What are other people's experiences with this?

Thanks!

Edit: Thanks to all the commentators -- I feel like I've got a much better idea of what to expect, now, and tips for how to navigate: Make it clear what I enjoy, but don't make it a condition for a match. Find out what she (and he) enjoys, then enjoy sex the way she wants to do it. Finish soon after the other guy finishes, and then go have the really mind-blowing sex with my wife (or go do whatever). Everybody is happy.