I posted about this a few months ago. We've been to a local LS club about 5-6 times. She's kissed a couple of guys and we've had sex on two of the couches in open rooms but that's about it. A few months ago I decided that I don't want to share her with anyone. Between that and the nice Summer weather, we didn't goto the club for a couple months.

Fast forward to recently, we went again last weekend. We talked to a couple who was interested in us and there were a couple of single guys interested in her. Nothing happened though. I go between not wanting to share to having thoughts of us playing at a club or maybe an adult theater or even having her get an erotic massage. Then I read stories from others that sound hot but.. I don't feel totally excited for us to do that. Actually, I get tense feeling in my stomach if someone is interested in her and it would just take an approval for it to happen. Some couples will meet others and start playing as easy as drinking a glass of water. I don't feel that way but I still search out possibly opportunities like a massage and other things that I mentioned..

I've been trying to figure out why. I think part of it is I'll probably be jealous. That jealousy might come from me knowing how hard it was to find someone I have a great connection with. It was years and a LOT of dating to find her. She thinks our sex life is great and is totally happy with me. Even with that, I feel she might experience this that are different/better than us then want that instead. And yeah, I've heard posts about the experience is different but that doesn't make it better. I guess I can hear it and agree with it but I still don't totally believe it. I can look at it from my point of view. I'm totally happy with her and her looks but maybe I have a preference when it comes to looks then I play with a woman who is what I like. Will I wish I always have someone like that while I'm in the moment but but happy with her I have later?

Part of me thinks she's been with a lot of guys before me so one or two more won't matter to see if we really like the LS (she was in it before so she does). And they would be random so no emotional connection. Or, that one or two might cause some damage to the relationship. What I don't get is, why do I keep searching out this still if I'm so torn about what we should do? I can't be the only one who does this.