One thing I’m (husband) learning to do is to get away from comparing myself against my wife’s current or potential play partners. I think comparison (he’s taller, more fit, smarter, better in bed, etc) is a normal thing for human beings to do. What I’m trying to do is focus on “different” vs “better”. My wife actually brought this on when she was talking about guys that are good dancers and guys that can play guitar/sing. Both excite her. Which is better? Does that matter? Of course not. They are different and both enjoyable. I can’t do either but my wife loved the way I cook and watching me workout with my shirt off. We all bring something different to the table from a sexiness quotient.
I equate that to sex. Maybe a guy can do something in bed I can’t do. Fine. Those guys can’t make love to my wife with the emotion that comes with building a 20 year life together. Good for her that she gets to experience both. So far avoiding comparison seems so much easier for my wife but I’m getting there. Has anyone else experienced this type of growth in their mindset? I though a discussion might be helpful for those that might struggle in this department. Comparison is the antidote to joy.