I'm sure he desires swapping because we've clearly talked about it. I'm not ignorant of what his desires are, but we work as a team and won't do anything that isn't going to help us grow closer. We've experimented, and the sadness afterward is hard for me. I was reaching out to people who have maybe been in a similar situation. This sounds like you're taking my story and twisting it into something personal and then trying to say that my husband is going to start doing things behind my back, which is completely out of context.

I think each couple has their own agreements and play styles. This just happens to be where we're at, and that's why I reached out to the community. I wanted different perspectives, maybe some guidance from someone who's been on this boat.

Thank you for the time you put into this response. I will definitely check out the podcast!! This is a HUGE help, and I appreciate it so much!

This is why I reached out😊

Thank you! You're right. What works for some might not work for others. Each relationship is its own little special cocktail! The open discussions that my husband and I have are great stepping stones to wherever our journey will take us, and as long as it's together, it'll be worth it!! Honestly, your words really helped! Thanks again

Over the past 15 years, my husband and I have talked about everything under the moon. It's his #1 kink because it's what turns him on the most. I trust what he says, and this has been a constant B* inducing scenario for him. I don't know why, but it's his thing

If and when we play with others, it's more of an us doing something sexy together type of experience. My husband has said that he only wants to swap if we're both on the same page. He cares for me as much as I care for him, and we're a team, not anything like what you're describing.

Hi! Yes, we love the parties/events and will surely continue! Therapy is a good idea, and I think it's an important step in the right direction. Sometimes, we don't know how we'll react until a certain situation arises, and all of a sudden, there's a trigger alert. The MFM encounters are my husband's #1 kink, and I'm happy to please him with this. Thanks for taking the time to respond. Have a good day!

The MFM is my husband's kink. He's been wanting to see me with other men for years. I finally agreed to try it for him, and once I saw how much that first video turned him on and how many times he's watched it, I was happy to please him. Now he'll just say it's time for a new video, and I know what that means! The swapping wasn't really ever on the table. We went to the LS parties to be sexy and maybe be naughty around other couples. The swaps we've had just kind of happened, and this is when I realized how I felt. I'm glad we've had these experiences. How would I ever know what it would feel like if we never tried. Resentment is a huge no-no in my marriage. We talk everything out because we truly care for one another.

If it were up to me, we'd only be with each other sexually. It took years before I was open to making my husband's desires come true and started MFM play (for him). It was really hard for me to share myself with someone else. Long story short, I love making my husband happy and fulfilled. He loves his naughty videos. The sadness I feel, I own. I do therapy, reading, and podcasts just about everything to keep growing. For the most part, we're always laughing, talking, f*****, and just building on our marriage. The LS stuff is for fun. That's why I reached out so that hopefully, someone had some insight into this type of situation. All in all, thanks for your perspective. I'll talk to my husband and make sure he isn't feeling like he's being punished for my father's mistakes.

Thank you for this! I will tread lightly. He says he'd rather continue the MFM even without swapping, and I believe him. We will continue talking and have fun figuring stuff out as we always have. But I really appreciate your post.

This sounds like a nightmare! The MFM is his #1 kink. He really gets off on seeing me with other men. If it were up to me, I'd be happy just going to LS parties and just watching or being watched. I love all the sex energy around those events. This turns me on. But the sharing and even the MFM is a stretch for me. I've always been highly sexual for my husband, and I'd be happy just being with him. He knows this. My husband wouldn't ever cheat. We talk about everything and value each other more than anything. Thanks for the response, though. It helped me see some things from a different perspective, and maybe it'll jumpstart a conversation between my husband and I to make sure we're on the same page.

Thank you for your response. You're right in saying that he will eventually become tired of not being able to play, and this is a hard but truthful realization.

We talked about it yesterday after reading through the responses everyone had left, and he admitted that his hopes are that one day I'll come around and want to swap. This helped me realize that people on here were correct on the advice they were giving, including yourself. He was telling me what I wanted to hear. We're, of course, going to continue open conversation. I didn't give him false hope and was honest and said I couldn't ever see myself being open to swapping. He says he's fine with it and would much rather keep our marriage together and just continue what we're doing. I've always gone out of my way to make my husband's life as fun and pleasurable as I can, I just feel like I'm failing him if I don't give in. Yet I'm failing myself if I do because I'm going against myself. Anyhow, thanks again.

I've tried all of the above, just not the fireball! That must be the answer! 😂 Yes, more therapy, for sure. Ty

I definitely want to stay in my marriage! We are very compatible and in love. These experiences in the LS are a way for us to stretch ourselves and grow. We're still working on what works for us, but we know whatever it is, it's together forever. Thanks

My husband and I have always been honest about our wants and desires in and out of the bedroom.

In no way, shape, or form would I ever lead him on or take advantage of him. He has always known where I stand.

The MFM is his kink. He's always had it and has been wanting to see me with other men even early on in our marriage. It turns him on like crazy, and he loves watching the videos he makes all the time. I could definitely live a happy life without being sexual with another man, but my husband truly gets off on it.

The lifestyle parties, sex clubs, and being around other sexual couples have only been a fun way for us to let loose and do something sexy and exciting together. We went in with the intentions that we wanted to watch or be watched, but we ended up playing with some couples along the way. This is where I realized how it felt for me. I'm glad we've stretched and grown in our marriage. I was reaching out to see if anyone else has navigated through these types of waters and what they did to help continue the growth within themselves and their relationship.

Also, I couldn't talk to my GF's about this! They don't even have a clue on the shenanigans that my husband and I get ourselves into.

Yes, he's aware. I struggle with the sadness after every MFM experience and after couple sharing as well. I've always been highly sexual, but even before marriage, I was very selective with whom I shared myself with. I enjoy having sex with my husband all day every day. It's just sharing myself or him that's hard. We talk about all of what he's feeling and I'm feeling. We know we like the sexy parties and being around the lifestyle. I'm hoping therapy will help me open up and not feel so sad after our adventures.

Thank you for opening up. As I read through your words, it helped me recognize that abandonment trauma as children can and will affect any and all relationships in our lives if we don't work on it.

I hope that the reading you've been doing has helped in some way!

I've also been doing a lot of therapy and reading. Meditation has also helped tremendously. I've learned to lean on my inner self. I recently read a book called "The Untethered Soul" by Michael A. Singer and I've listened to almost all of his videos on YouTube. Maybe this could help you along your journey.

I think that any relationship can help us grow in one way or another, but I feel like it's at a whole different level when our partners want to have sexual fun and variety with others! Lol At one point, I didn't think I could handle the idea. Not only seeing him with others, but also opening up myself to do the same. As I sit here now, the alarms in my body aren't going off anymore. Which I feel is a great improvement on my end. (Thanks to therapy Michael Singer)🙏😙

My husband and I are taking things slow now, and maybe this is why I feel like my feet are on the ground now with a healthier version of myself. It's possible we had jumped in the deep end too soon. Life feels a lot safer, and I can see clearly now that my relationship isn't being threatened with this change. It's adding to it. I think I needed a lot of inner work to come to this place. We've been talking to other couples, looking at taking a trip. Something that would have had me all knotted up inside is now sounding exciting and freeing.

I feel safe within myself now, and it's changed the way I view all of my surroundings. My childhood programming was set at max fear and threat of the world. I'm happy to say I've been able to re programm some of my beliefs, not completely. I think I'm still a work in progress, and I still fall short some days, but the world feels safer than it ever has.

I hope you can find peace and that my words help in some way. Take care!

Lol! We've talked about this, but it's mutual that it's not for us. He loves watching me. That and I just want my husband's D! We only do MFM because he likes recording and watching his videos.

Thank you with all of my heart for your response! You've given me a lot to think about and also different ways to view my/our situation. I had an open and honest conversation with my husband, and you were right. He hopes I'll come around. I told him swapping was not for me, and I couldn't see myself getting there. I'll continue educating myself with ENM material, plus therapy, and see where that leads us. My husband says he wouldn't ever want to end the marriage for this, but I can't help and feel like a failure for not being able to do this for him. Honestly, I'm very sad and confused rn. Thanks again!

Hi, and thank you for the response. I've been very clear to my husband about not ever wanting to swap. The times that it did happen, including every time we have an MFM encounters, I'm always left with emotional residue that's hard on me. I've always had a high sex drive, but for me, it's about intimacy, and it's very sacred. I love my husband and want his desires to be met, but it just hurts me deeply. I'm reading books, seeking therapy ( I tried a few, but haven't found the right fit), listening to podcasts... I'm trying very hard to work through my emotions and find the sexiness and fun through sharing, but in turn, I always feel like I'm losing who I naturally am.

I would just like to know if there are any couples who have been able to make the lifestyle work in this situation.