Often times Dan Savage and others would recommend newbies take baby steps to see how their partners might feel when it comes to moving from fantasy to reality.

For instance, married couple might go to a bar and the wife sits alone while husband is watching across the room. She gets hit on, flirts, maybe dances with some strangers without letting them know that she’s married/partnered or anything about the status of her relationship. And this is as far as it goes. It’s just about having some casual fun and exploring comfort levels before jumping straight into sex with others.

One could say she’s leading these men on in that setting. And possibly even engaging in some fantasy role play without full consent of the participants (other than the married couple themselves of course).

Would anyone consider scenarios like that falling outside the realm of ethical non monogamy?